Sunday, October 28, 2007

最近，为了杨君伟的第一份作业到了图书馆去翻了翻书，想找找一些小品， 无意中看到一本书 ——《这本书》黄俊朗文 . 画 。 书的内容非常有趣且具启发性， 享与你们分享一些。。。here I go !

“ 你信仰什么？”她问 “没有！”他 说， “人不可能没有信仰，一定会信仰着什么。 有人信仰宗教，有人信仰力量， 有人信仰自由，有人信仰自己， 甚至有人信仰乐团。”她说。 “我没有！”他又说了一遍 “那么你大概是信仰无常吧！”她说 “随便！”他说 她想了很久 才说 “你真的是没有信仰的人！”尔后 她又加了一句 “这是你唯一的信仰！ ”“随便！”他又说了一遍。

其实， 在我与很多人沟通的过程中， 我有时也会像 “她”一样发问这样的问题。 你到底活着 是为了什么呢? 你又把你的一生交托到了谁的手里？ 是宗教？是欢乐？还是自己？就像“他”一样 很多人会对我说 “无所谓”“我不想想这么多” 但是， 真的这样无所谓吗？ 我想， 或许人 总喜欢敷衍自己吧，宁愿什么也不知， 因为无知的人往往显得最快乐， 也最自由。 我们啊， 总喜欢或在自欺欺人的世界里。 自我安慰的快乐， 好像比真实面对自己来得容易。

Posted by von at 12:50 AM

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hmmm...ok... i think this post will be kind of sad...maybe becos there's a pinch of sorrow in my heart right now... and tiredness fills me... making me kind of emo *sigh*...but decided to blog it anyway... wanted to sum up these thoughts in words.... before another sem begins.....

Disclaimer: Contains a lot of reference to christianity so maybe some might feel abit uncomfortable while reading. So warning 1st ah! hahahha
Well, secondly, I am not trying to be judgmental over certain issues, though I do have certain interpretations of certain situations.

THANKSGIVING FOR THE TERM
OK, maybe I shall start off with something happy first afterall, not really used to solemn posts. I guess in this term there much to give thanks about, there is also much to get me excited about. Been meeting a group of girls for BS and some of their response encourages me. It's really exciting and encouraging to see afew of them seemingly interested in the bible. It warms my heart to hear Anna being appreciative that she is corrected from the bible. Well, it's not so much of listening to me that makes me happy, but I can see the glow in her face after I prayed for her in one of our mtgs and I can only give thanks to God for her and pray that He will keep her growing.

I guess the second thing to give thanks is probably my term results. Many of them came expectantly good (at least beyond my expectations). Though many of you would not believe it, but I really didn't expect it. Call it pessimism or under-estimation if you like. But well, I think it’s really God’s grace... to give me something I dun really think I deserved. =) And well, it really brightens my day when I received it. So yup… really thankful about it.

I guess the third one will probably be the events that has happened this semester and holidays. Some of them has been painful, some refreshing, some thoughtful. But I am really glad that I am able to catch up with many that I have not been interacting much. Great to hear about them and the happenings of their life. Sometimes as I hear from some of them, I am encouraged to know that I am not fighting this Christian journey alone, many face similar struggles as me, so it kind of comforts me....I guess maybe I really need to be encouraged that there are still like-minded Christians ard me, people who still see value in the wk that I am doing, just in case you might think “Hey this girl is trying to get some recognition huh..”. Well, I am not. Just couldn’t fully described my feelings at this present moment. Hope you understand

IS THE GOD YOU BELIEVE MY GOD TOO?
That was the one of question I asked myself when I walk out of class. The most daunting lesson that happen right before semester ended set me thinking abt many things. During that lesson, I felt alone. Alone standing as a Christian. I think during this whole process, I went from shock to further shock to apprehension to dismay and sadness lastly to acceptance.

I think to many Christians nowadays, Christianity has become just another religion among all the others. It is maybe a sense of belonging/ a heritage culture because many grew up with Christianity since young, so much that it became part and parcel of their life, so going to church and doing whatever so-called Christian acts is normal, maybe necessary, or even boring, but yet they will just continue doing it.

To some, maybe through Christianity, one found certain peace of mind, certain comfort, or certain joy. Some may also have found friendship and fun. Therefore, Christianity seems cool to turn to.

However, I do really wonder many times. Who is God in their eyes? What do they really understand of Him? Is He worth their lives? Does He affects their values in life? Do Christians nowadays conform to their God and His character, or do they expect their God to conform to their values, mindset and lifestyle? Does this God’s value and character matters to us? Or is He another dummy placed for self-comfort? Who is then God? YOU? ME? OR HIM?

I think many times we Christians live a life as if God is out of picture. “I’m happy.. that’s all that matters.” In our decision making, in our minds, God carries too little weight. I guessed that probably explains why Christian values and God’s Commands becomes “good to follow, but not necessary”. Many Christians do not take sin seriously (I think I am also guilty of it). We have forgotten that that is the very things that lead to Christ death on the cross. Thus, in our blindness, we conclude that everything can be done in our way, so long we liked it.

OK, shall make this part 1 and post it... cos it very late already... and i need to sleep already... part 2..... to be continued!

Posted by von at 11:46 PM

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Posted by von at 2:47 PM

虽然已经过了很久，不过就让我把完未说完的话说完吧， 不想半途而废 =）

去台湾的旅游已经是老掉牙的事了。。。但是对它却还是念念不忘的， 我想或许是因为我有很多想做却还没做的事吧，（而做过的事我想我也不介意再做多几次） 但我想若真的要做完的话，可能要在那里呆个一年半载的了， 也是因为如此， 去台湾留学的念头最近时不时地浮现在脑里， 如果真的能达成心愿的话， 那就真得太好了。 但是，需要考虑的事情有太多， 脑子还是未能有一个明确的答案， 所以。。。就再想想吧！

台湾的文化
台湾的风气我想是最有吸引人的地方，人民的热情，街上的热热闹闹，老街的新颖，书街的浓郁书香，在那里，好像除了寒冷的雨天外，什么都是美丽的。 台湾的美， 或许来自他的活力吧， 那种能使人快乐的活力， 让我来到它的怀抱的第一天便深深地陷入其中。

台湾的街道
台湾的街道有一种艺术美，我喜欢看街道上不同的建筑，里头新旧不齐，却有一种很舒服的感觉，可能因为是在新加坡看了太多四四方方的建筑物吧，所以来到了台湾，更加欣赏这里的无拘无束，一个摩登购物中心的隔壁可能就是一个古老的旧商店，大大小小的大排挡无处不见，一个大厦里补习中心、基督教社团、经济公司、拍卖会场等等全部都济济一堂， 人行道是人也是车走的， 但多半是车闪人而不是人闪车， 短短的一条街上可以有5 到6 个银行。。。无数的所见所闻都是有趣的现象， 唯一麻烦的地方，就是像我们这些不熟路又有些路痴的人， 找地方是可就有些头痛， 像我和Tracy就找罗志祥那间店找了的老半天， 西门町都不知道绕了几圈了呢。。。。但是全部的点点滴滴都成了愉快的探险记， 深深地印在我脑海里。

与台湾人的邂逅
来到了台湾， 更加喜欢台湾人了。喜欢他们的热情，他们的能言善道， 也因为与他们的相遇，整个旅程也增加了更多美好的回忆 。无论是飞机上为我们画地图引路的热心叔叔， 还是带着浓浓台南音每天为我们介绍好去处的亲切阿姨， 又或者是与我们聊天聊到好像似曾相识的可爱店员， 还是“肆无忌惮”，毫无保留地与我们分享台湾政治情况的德士司机，与他们的相遇让我更加了解台湾，也更真实地体会了台湾人热情，直爽，与开朗的一面。 其实旅行时，与其忘我地购物，不如设身处地地感染一下人民的风情， 听听人们的对话， 看看人们的生活， 做做几天的“当地人”， 或许会更有意义，更有满足感。

台湾美食
来的10天里， 吃了数不尽的美食， 却也有数不尽的美食没来得及吃。（我想也吃不下了！） 其实对我这个馋嘴爱吃的人而言，美食竟然出乎意料地不在首几个重要的排名里， 其实，这并不是因为那里的食物不好吃， 但更重要的是，其实我更怀念边吃边体会的那种乐趣， 一走到夜市，便不会错过好久不见的路边摊。 “蟹肉米粉羹来一碗！” “我要草莓冰！” “哇！这个冰淇淋好高哦！才卖20块！”（相等于新加坡的1 元) “诶，卤肉饭和蚝汤（o-ah-teng) 原来是这样哦！” “这个大肠包小肠很好吃哦！” “那个鸡趴这么大我看我们share 就好了”这是我在夜市频频说出的话，你应该可以想象我吃了多少美食吧！与新加坡还真的不一样，不只在不同的美食里， 更在怎么吃美食上， 那种“吃饱就走”， “边吃边走”的饮食方式很洒脱， 很贫民， 却也很自由， 很愉快。 我真得很喜欢这种感觉。

后记：
人的一生，或许曾经有过那一霎那的华丽，但单纯的朴素，或许会来得更自然，更开心， 更美丽。

Posted by von at 2:47 PM

Monday, April 30, 2007

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Posted by von at 7:35 PM

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在飞机上，我们碰到了一个非常热心的台湾叔叔， 他在机上热心地告诉我们那里好玩，与我们整整聊了四五个小时， 可惜他说的地方我们大多数都没机会去， 但是对他还是非常感激的！

Posted by von at 7:35 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007

ever heard of this phrase called "blue blood"? Begin school already.. and this is phrase that caught my interest during translation lesson....

BLUE BLOOD

It’s a direct translation of the Spanish sangre azul. Many of the oldest and proudest families of Castile used to boast that they were pure bred, having no link with the Moors who had for so long controlled the country, or indeed any other group. As a mark of this, they pointed to their veins, which seemed bluer in colour than those of such foreigners. This was simply because their blue-tinted veins showed up more prominently in their lighter skin, but they took it to be a mark of their pure breeding.

So the phrase blue blood came to refer to the blood which flowed in the veins of the oldest and most aristocratic families. The phrase was taken over into English in the 1830s.



Interesting, isn't it? Learnt something new this week. And thought of sharing it with you. =)

To be continued.. ( I haven forget my promised with regards to the taiwan trip and operation lor!.. try my best to update abt them in the weekend.... :) )


Cheers,

von

Posted by von at 12:41 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Taken @ Bukit Timah Hill
Our Lecture Group Outing 

Posted by von at 8:22 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Hello Friends!!

Finally..!! Managed to discipline myself to write a proper and decent piece of journal! Greatest apology... i didnt repent again... and this time round it was a long silence of almost 5 months. ( Or was it more?) Time just past... and before I know it... ta-da! 5 months is just gone. Anyways, to me...This blog records more of my growth than daily living. It's my hope to resolve certain issues before sharing, primarily because I felt that being an emotional person, my perspective needs to be reflected before blurting out. I hope this will not a place for emotional outburst or anger released, but rather, it helps me to be more accountable of my words and feelings. So ya... here I am to share with you the "happening" things in these 5 months!


Let's backtrack to last year Dec!

Christmas @ Genting
It's been a long time since I've been overseas with my family. Thus, though its just a short trip to Genting. I think I enjoyed it very much. It think the best thing about family trip is the opportunity to interact with one another in a very relaxed manner. Back home, all of us are tired and stressed up with work and school, hardly can we really talk to one another, so in this trip i managed to interact with my bro and sis more, and I think it did built up certain bonds... Thank God! :) Hopefully, such opportunities may come again soon!

2007? New Year? Was it?
It seemed that 2007 came very silently... I wasn't even prepared for any new year resolution, and January seemed to be coming to an end. There is a saying " time past faster as you grow older...." And I seems to be a living testimony of it. Must admit, my timetable and life went a mess at the start of the year... I was like living in the past for these few months, the pace of life was so fast, that I could hardly keep up. Before I knew it, tons of work just came simultaneously, before I could reflect and try to something about it, my mind is filled up with things to do, countless of things to clear. Now, I begun to see, why busyness can take someone one away from relationship with friends, family, and worst, with the living God. You just keep on doing neverending work, and get yourself physically, mentally and sometimes even emotionally tired...Where is the time for God? It is all replaced by all the work you need do and endless deadlines. I think during this period of time, I was really lost. Lost in work, and almost drown in deadlines. And I thank God that He reminded me of a book (Idols of your Heart) that I had read previously. The book talks about how many things can subtly become your idol, your God, and one very good counter check is your reaction to it. Well, I think this period, I have failed the test. However, even with this, I will not despair... I think this marks another period of learning, another step of growing... many to change.... right now.. I am taking this break to do something about it... Pray for me bros and sisters, tat i will take this time to evaluate to begin fresh when school term starts!

School - Changes & Changes
I remembered telling minsen after my exams, that something is going wrong with me. Think i have lost focus in alot of things, and it includes my objective for studies. Before i came into NP, i recognised that my focus for schooling days was not to do well. Not that i hope that i won't do well, but rather, this will not be the focus that drives me to do my best. I do my best, basically because my God is the best, and i believe doing everything to your best ability pleases Him. I love my school mates, they are a bunch of very fun people... and i think as we study and burrow through the tons of projects, the sharing of frustrations and joys did allow us to know one another more. However, there is something going wrong with me, and i can sense it strongly right from the mid of 2nd sem. I think my focus have shift to meeting others expectations. I think when you happened to do well, it seems like people will expect you to continue doing well. Nothing wrong with that but it stresses me up. How to continue to keep to the standard? On the other aspect, i think desiring the joy when doing well ( 成功的喜悦) has also shift my perspective. When has it shifted? I guess it has been also subtly. But i remember reflecting on my "most hectic period" and feel very upset. I remembered the times when i just let one day go by another, let one assignment cleared one by another, (一天过一天) losing the reason for doing workind , feeling tired physically and mentally to do anything. This has upset me, and also affect my other areas of work too. Ministry work has not been put to the best and my life is just assignment clearance time. Meaningless.

However, i think i must really thank God. I think this holiday is a time of reflection. I begin to think more about myself, i also begin to be more honest with who i am. And it helps because i can then think of what to do next. I think as i align my objectives, i recognised 1 thing too. That is i must realign my walk with God. My walk with God will keep me focus in the things i do. Once this shifts, everything shifts. So another prayer request: That I will continue to grow and reflect upon His word.

Will be seeking to improve and grow in this area when school starts.

"Emotional Depression" Spiral Re-run
Sometimes, i think God is very interesting, and He is so unique in His pruning and discipling of His children. Sometimes, just when you thought you have already learnt your lesson, He will tell you that actually you still need more practice and growth. After this few years, I thought I have already learnt quite abit about controlling my emotions. I've learnt or many a times try to use my head to think before getting emotional. I am not so personal to people's remarks as i used to. I have learn to take changes better. I have even cry lesser in shows, though i still felt very touched. All this have led me to think that I quite "OK" when it comes to emotion management. I am more rational than before. However, a series of events have lead me to conclude that, there is more to learn, and i have an important thing to deal with: my sense of security.

I am very "relational" person. I reckoned that this personality of mine is a plus but also minus factor. I can be very friendly and relationships do take an important part of my life. However, I think the problems comes when my security of happiness rests on relationships solely. Sensing a change in a friend affects me greatly, sensing a change in relationship with another person worries me, finding difficulty in relating to a person pulls down my confidence, and gets me anxious and uneasy. When all of the above happens consecutively, I literally crumples and break down, and my "emotional depression" spiral reruns...my emotional state came to its surface. A weird person, don't you think? But yeah, thats the part of me i always fear, and always hated. As much as I hope this spiral will not come back, it nv fails to come back to haunt me. Its attack always leave me tired and upset emotionally.

How then? Well, been thinking about it ever since i came back from Taiwan. What should I do about this headache. So far, my conclusion to this matter is ( Must say there is more to think about): A shift in security. I must reconcile this point: My self view should not rest not people's view of me, but on how God view of me. In the recent Easter Day, went to Wanjun's church because of her baptism. Cheehong in his teaching made a point: "Because of Christ's resurrection, there is no room for inferiority" Indeed, recognising that Christ accepted you despite you being evil and worthless should lead you to thankgiving of what He has done. You should put your focus on what you need to grow, and on God our Creator, on the relationship with Him. How narrowminded when you put your worth onto material goods, looks, enjoyment and how well are your relations with others. It is many times worthless or dissappointing. (Not saying that you cannot enjoy fun and friendships, it just means that fun times are bound to go and people are bound to disappoint you, thus you do enjoy them, but it shouldn't be your source of happiness.) Thus, pray for me, that my priority in life, my security in life should always rest on Him and Him alone.

Secondly, I was also reminded that in whatever relationships in life, God is in control of it. It is in His plan we meet one another. ( How do you in millions of people come to know me? Definitely not by chance!) It is in His grace our acquaintance deepens to true friendships. ( People may meet one another, but they just don't "click"...you know what i mean ya? :P ) It is in His Sovereignty that our friendship may go through the test of storms, the test of fire, the test of time. ( Many times, tests just show how fragile and weak a relationship is...) So, i rest my faith on Him and Him alone, to sustain our friendships, to help our friendship to grow. In His glory. :)

A Busy Holiday
This term break is indeed eventful. Have got lots to think, students to meets, things to plan, and also never forget My Memorable Taiwan Trip *o* (to be continued) and My Unforgettable Operation (which explains why y i am speechless now). All in 2 months! However, I think this entry is indeed long enough. ( Almost 1800 words liao ) Therefore, shall share my 2 other important events in the coming few entries. This is done so that i can quickly publish this one. It has taken me 3 days to type! Haha...yup... shall end here.... all shall be continued till the nxt one.



Love,

von

Posted by von at 9:40 PM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

hiya....
haven actually got the time to type much yet... share with all of u the lyrics of the 1st k? hahaha...to be continued....

Posted by von at 3:48 AM

Monday, December 04, 2006

哇。。。 我要被一堆的功课压得喘不了气了啦！ 哈哈！ 不过大家放心。。。 我会加油的！ 现在忙着做功课的我， 想和你们分享我作业里的其中一首歌， 是一个很久以前的歌， 但我认为， 这首歌想要说的历史更久远。。。 蛮酷的！ 哈哈。。。。 其实我是闲着无聊。。。 想给你们欣赏一下文绉绉的东西啦。。。 我是对着它找资料， 找得快发疯了! well, hope you find it nice yeah! heehee..

Posted by von at 9:40 AM

Friday, August 25, 2006

nice close up shot... 

Posted by von at 7:47 PM

found this in one website... love the editing... the kid is so cute.. :) 

Posted by von at 7:46 PM

Bought this Meiji Biscuit before i know i can't eat... fed up... hahhaa... but well..it rocks... very nice... haahha... Meiji product nv fails to make me happy... :) 

Posted by von at 7:24 PM

moi and puih..  

Posted by von at 7:20 PM

we went to the hokkaido fair...and chilled out @ starbucks.. :) 

Posted by von at 7:19 PM

Doesn't this remind you of a recent movie.. was it call just your luck or something...lol..whatever.. i like the effect...:p  

Posted by von at 7:18 PM

The 2 bdae girls! :) 

Posted by von at 7:15 PM

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